This week’s topic in our Ask Candace series is a showstopper, how to say no without feeling guilty about it. Man oh man do I struggle with this so bad. I haven’t figured out if I am an overly-devoted people pleaser or if its just a bad case of FOMO (fear of missing out). Either way, its hard on the heart to say no to opportunities, adventure or sticky requests from friends and family. Am I right?
Do you ever find yourself in a tug-of-war with yourself when opportunities arise? I sure do. It usually goes a little something like this…your best friend asks you to a weekend concert, your sister ask you for $100 bucks, your pup needs a fun day outdoors with you, your husband wants a weekend getaway, your mom wants you to go shopping and your next door neighbor needs to borrow your car. How in the world do you 1. Choose 2. Say no and 3. Enjoy your time knowing you are missing out on something else?
I’m sharing 3 tips on how you can say “no” without feeling guilty about it and doing what’s right for you!
Saying no so your bank account doesn’t take a hit // It sucks so bad when you want to go and do all the fun things, but you are on a strict budget or simply just can’t afford it. How do you tell someone you just don’t have the money without fear of letting them down?
What to say: “I would love to go, but I’m saving money for X and I’m so close to my goal. Thank you so much for asking me. Count me in for next time!”
It works because: You aren’t rejecting your friend for flaky reasons, but rather explaining your goal oriented reasons that anyone can understand.
Saying no so you don’t loose your sanity // When it comes to a sticky situation like loaning your car to a friend and your gut is telling you it’s a bad idea to say yes, always say no. How do you tell someone no without hurting their feelings while keeping your sanity and/or peace of mind?
What to say: “I am so sorry, now isn’t a good time. Can I give you a ride or help you with X in another way? Thank you for understanding.”
It works because: You aren’t directly telling them no, but bringing them alternative solutions that you can help with while keeping your peace of mind.
Saying no so you don’t have to rearrange your whole schedule to make it work // When you overbook your schedule and are already working hard to fit everything in and you get asked to volunteer over the weekend. How do tell someone no so that you don’t have to rearrange your schedule again in order to commit?
What to say: “Thank you so much for thinking of me, while I love this event, I’ve already made prior commitments during that time. Please let me know how I can help with next year’s event.”
It works because: You are leaving the door open for future opportunities while not overcommitting yourself at that time.
Do you have a story about telling someone no? Did it go well or was it a crash and burn? Share with us in the comments below.